Dear Sen. McCain:
You know what would be awesome? If you would stop calling us your "friends." I guess I can't speak for others but I know you're sure as hell not my friend. For one thing, I lack the nine-figure income you so prize in your closest associates.
Your party, the party of the ultra-rich who have been raping this country for the last eight years, is no friend to any middle-class American. It is no friend to the environment, to the economy, or to our national infrastructure. It is no friend to the poor or to the mentally ill or to any of those desperate for health insurance. It is also no friend to our allies across the world, whose good faith we have squandered through our endless wars aimed solely at earning money for major Republican party contributors.
So spare me the contrived intimacy. Do us all a favor and take your hackneyed "maverick" act back to the Senate, where with any luck an incoming Democratic majority will keep you from doing much more harm. And, please, for the love of God, get Caribou Barbie a one-way ticket back to Anchorage.
Looking forward to seeing a lot less of you after Nov. 4,