This Bush press conference transcript is not from The Onion, although it reads like it is. Here are a few choice excerpts, which, as Dave Barry would say, I am not making up:
- “Foreign policy used to be dictated by the fact we had two oceans protecting us. If we saw a threat, we could deal with it if you needed to you think, or not, but we'd be safe.”
- “9/11 affected the way I think. I know these are like totalitarian fascists. They have an ideology. They have a desire to spread that ideology. And they're willing to use tactics to achieve their strategy.”
- “The problem is our employers don't know whether they're hiring people, because there's a whole forgery industry around people being smuggled into the United States. There's a smuggling industry and a forgery industry. And it's hard to ask our employers, the onion guy out there, whether or not the documents he's being shown which look real are real.”
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